"The ideal person for me to date would be blind, so that they wouldn't be scared away by the way I look."
- Mahlena-Rae Johnson to herself for most of her life
I know what I want, and I go after it. Hard.
That often requires imagination, because I want a lot of big things and big ideas that don't get much representation in reality.
For instance, on my Dream Board, I created an image that says, "Billionaire Mum."
Ou, ce sera moi.
There aren't that many mothers who are billionaires out there, and only one woman billionaire I know of who is black.
But even though I can't see it, I still want to be it.
Speaking of Oprah, recently I read two articles by two different women about body image that spoke to my journey:
by Caissie St. Onge, Vox.
by Shamira Ibrahim, Very Smart Brothas.
I have lived with body dysmorphia since before I knew it was a thing.
I am also an introvert who prefers to sit at home and watch TV instead of going out to networking events to interact with large groups of people.
But I am also incredibly driven, to a fault.
I figure out what works, and I do it.
The carrot of potential success pushes me past my fear because I like to get what I want.
"Carrot, get over here."
Ergo, I produced my Facebook Live series, "The 5 Best Ways to Start Writing. Now.", despite the fact that I'm a perfectionist who thinks I look like a weirdo with bad lighting.
I continued doing these live videos because they work. They skew Facebook's algorithm, so that the Write Your First Book with Mahlena Facebook page appears in more people's feeds and notifications.
And people actually watch the videos.
So I will continue to make more Facebook Live series, now featured on the For Nerdy Girls Facebook page.
Hooray for me.
I'm going to eat that carrot.
Fellow Nerdy Girls, what are you afraid of?
What are you driven to achieve?
How are you creating paths for success, even if you're scared?
Share your questions and answers in the comments, or email me at ForNerdyGirls@gmail.com.
Thanks for reading!